In the year 2001, I had many, for me at the time, unusual experiences. I had come out of a long period of severe illness in the year 2000 and had opted to stay, as it were. As I was still in the slow recovery from illness it gave me much time for contemplation in solitude. I had to pass my time any way I could.
I found some old tapes of when I was talking with the spiritual teacher of a few years earlier and when I now listened to these tapes I began to tremble, vibrate. The finest vibration overtook my whole body and I fell into deep sleep for many hours, passed out really. This strange thing happened for several days in a row as I could only listen to one side of a tape at a time before I fell unconscious for 5 – 6 hours at a time and I had about seven tapes. As I had completed the listening of these tapes I felt very much touched by and sort of lit up by some very powerful light vibration. I don't know why it came about that way. This was in the month of April.
In June, I had three rapid experiences of what I can only call merger into the One. Over a period of a few days I felt as if "I" was swooshing into and melting into the Whole. First I felt a part of "me" go, melt away, disappear. The next day I felt more of me go and a day or so later I felt myself be entirely and completely melted into the Divine, the All and All, the One. It happened very quickly and I thought it neat somehow. It felt good. It felt as if I no longer had a soul. Very shortly after this, a few days only, I had the experience of the Divine filling my body with itself, completely, as if the body now was a vessel for something else than the me; soul, self, thoughts and emotions, that were there before. It happened instantaneously, in a few seconds, like another big swoosh.
Over the next several months I would fall spontaneously into profoundly deep meditations, no matter where I was or what I was doing. It happened with such intensity that I couldn't resist it and I had to just simply go with it. I remember being over at a friend's house for tea and in the middle of our conversation, in mid - sentence, I fell into deep silence, trance almost, and non - movement. I felt it as absolute stillness and emptiness. I experienced complete Oneness, was in complete Oneness, was the Oneness. This happened anywhere at any time for about 4 - 5 months and then with less frequency for maybe up to another year or so.
During this time I was reading books that spoke of female saints in
