Thursday, April 5, 2007

NO MIND.


Something that is spoken about in tangent to enlightenment and Self - Realization is the concept of no mind, the no mind experience. Many times I've heard people say one ought to concentrate and control ones thoughts to the extent of experiencing no mind, that behind all thoughts can the no mind be found. Just as I also heard people say one should master oneself enough to be able to overcome attachment, desire and emotions as well as thoughts, as if this all can truly be willed with enough effort. I must say that was not my experience. Detachment, desirelesness and no mind cannot be forced. They are experiences of the freedom that organically over time and after the transformation become ones reality. One is not to try to be in no mind, one day one will just not have a mind as one knew it anymore. A massive change will have taken place with ones consciousness and energy fields so that mind is no longer registered as a function, mind actually and literally dissolves, not just its function but its very design.

As I turned towards a spiritual life, even though I didn't plan to do that it happened to me automatically and forcefully, I experienced as I have explained, effortless and massive transformation of all that makes up a human being; energy bodies, soul, consciousness, awareness and the results being very clearly noticed complete changes in all these fields. The no mind experience, as a result of continued dissolution of beingness, was simply a result of no effort, a result of continuing on with allowing it all to happen to me. I didn’t have any choice in it. It all happened by itself.

I never attempted to loose my mind or to have my mind dissolved. I didn't even think of it until I realized that for many months I hadn't been able to think. My mind had been blown apart, crushed into a million little shards and every little tiny piece of it had melted and dissolved and trickled away into the Nothing. I kept forgetting this and tried to think, tried to know, tried to see, tried to figure and it just didn't work the same as before and it made me plenty frustrated. I couldn't perceive, I couldn't plan and I couldn't remember. Nothing at all worked like it used to. Linear time was blown away. There had been a dissolution and change of what mind was or used to be. Just as the being had dissolved and merged with the Absolute on an energetic, fundamental level and the soul had disappeared, that which makes up mind, the mental body's functions, had cracked, completely dissolved and merged back into the Absolute reality, into the One. The mind and the Absolute had become one. One and the same in essence and make - up one could say but it is really that mind had disappeared, swallowed up by nothing.

Thoughts still appear to happen and conversations take place, feelings arise and disappear but leave no mark on anything what so ever, hardly even memory. Mind no longer functions as before, as it was the landscape upon which thoughts happen, the blank canvas that was luminous in itself. Mind doesn't move thoughts across the field of itself but rather is awareness that motions itself, awareness, into stillness and truth no matter the experiences surrounding the body. Awareness resting in itself.

I can now only observe, if even that sometimes. I thought I'd observe creation but find that awareness rests in the Nothing, in the Absolute at all times, absolutely peaceful, absorbed by it. Even just simply watching the unfoldment of the world pass by as a creation of the divine itself doesn't take place much of the time, it’s too hard, too difficult, takes too much energy. The focus is not on the world of matter anymore but rests in the invisible and the unspoken, drenched in the empty void, in the Nothing, swims in and relaxes in, rests in that Reality that cannot be described or put into words.