Thursday, April 5, 2007

A LITTLE BACKGROUND.


Born to a family of atheists, I grew up in an atmosphere completely void of any spiritual, religious or philosophical discussion or dialog of any kind. As a tiny child I was very happy, always smiling, quiet, calm and deeply contemplative. As I grew up I liked most of all to be still and listen to and observe grown - ups. My attention was turned inward by an invisible force. I was forcefully drawn to silence, stillness and contemplation. I had a deeply spiritual mind but no one to guide me. So I had to go to school, have gym class, play instruments and was expected to maintain lively social activities that all seemed very pointless and empty experiences to me. An observer, a loner and a seer, I was somewhat an unusual child.

At the age of five I had a profound near death experience where I died and came back. I was gone for a very long time. I visited a realm of light, an in - between place filled with legions of angels and came face to face with "God". Absolutely sublime and lovely sensations flooded me and when told I was to go back I completely refused three times before I was sent back to my body. Nothing looked the same from that moment on. This instantaneously opened many doors for me, intuitive and multi - dimensional. Very confused by extremely heightened multi - dimensional awareness and intensely activated intuition, I withdrew inside of myself and continued to simply observe all happenings and all of life. I became aware of things nobody else could see or feel. Mostly I sensed other people's intentions, feelings and thoughts. I had no guide or teacher in my childhood, no one to explain what had taken place or what was happening to me and nobody ever knew of my flight to the realms above. I had to find my own way.

I soon developed a passion for the paranormal, occult and metaphysical. Nothing set me on fire like discovering and researching these subjects and I really had no other interests that stimulated me in the same way. At the age of 12 I discovered reincarnation by that I all of a sudden remembered things clearly; places, situations, feelings and outcomes; a life in medieval times where I was a young girl hiding from my relatives behind heavy drapes in a stone fortress. This memory popped up for no reason at all and with no relevance to anything other than remembering and effortlessly realizing reincarnation. It seems now I was receiving intense metaphysical training from very early on.

I had a classically, severely oppressed, extremely violent and abusive childhood and teen years that taught me endurance, tenacity and observing the mind of others. As I grew up I found an interest in art, architecture, design, music, culture, adventure, travel, language, anthropology, philosophy, psychology and religion. An avid reader since childhood with a deep curiosity of all things humanistic, I was always researching other worlds and altered states of consciousness in which ever way I could find. Living with excruciating pain was not the driving force for all this as I see it, but the drive rather something in the spirit, a destiny.

In my 20's I came in contact with metaphysical thought and studies and that together with a quest for purpose set me on my course. I became trained in multi - dimensional energy work with a shamanic world view. During my travels through many countries and by living in many places, I met with many world religions, took refuge and received initiations. Observing that all schools of thought deal with all the same issues in different ways, have the same goal and ultimately try to lead to the same place, freedom; I never became attached to any one religion or philosophy. I felt they all lacked something, the freedom to move towards what I can only call ultimate Truth. As I was exploring everything that came my way I came to stumble upon a teacher and Realized immediately.

Having developed a private spiritual healing and psychic counseling practice have afforded me a lot of time to be; to delve deep into beingness, contemplation and solitude - the stillness and silence I had always craved.