Thursday, April 5, 2007


As one awakens, one begins to become aware of how things really are in essence in the world of matter, in creation, how creation works and is built. All things begin to appear very funny. Laughter easily becomes the response to almost every situation no matter what it is and no matter how one reacted to it in the past.

Everything becomes much, much lighter and easier to deal with. The empty and naked awareness of the newborn babe one once were is again resumed and awe and wonder engulfs one's perception. A great joy begins to permeate every single experience. The joy and later on intense bliss cannot be controlled or suppressed and one may receive awkward reactions from those who still react to the world from duality and separation.

At one point when my life wasn't looking too good; I had lost everything, my life as I knew it had suddenly, absolutely, totally and completely ended and I was totally in an in - between place, with no direction, no clue and no means what so ever; I woke up one morning and saw absolutely clearly that all was paradise. I knew that no one had ever left Eden and we all had always been in Eden. All was well and not only well but sublimely perfect in all ways. Waking up to the total realization that all is as it is supposed to be on the deepest level possible.

The radiance, beauty and perfection continue to be the everlasting experience in which ever way I turn my attention. The experience of totally surrendering everything, surrendering control, is something that took me many, many years. I had to slowly and gradually allow for my beliefs to change; the way I thought the world was, how I thought things worked and how I thought things ought to be. It was not an easy journey in any way. I shouted, fought, rebelled, resisted, tried harder, pouted, cried, laid down and refused and so on. I used to look upon things in a very fragmented way and thought that if I just did the right thing, which I never knew what it was, I would have exactly and precisely what I wanted when I wanted it. I have learned now to let go, which I believe is the only spiritual practice necessary, over time, little by little, one piece at a time, one idea at a time. Now I am able to see creation as it is, in its splendor and glory, simply as the river that gently flows by, as described in Herman Hesse's book Siddhartha.

A radiance of beauty shines out from all matter, all material things, and one becomes aware of this intense beauty shining through everything; concrete pillars, metal tables, butterflies, trees, people, food, sky, walls, water. Absolutely everything in the world vibrates with sublime and intense beauty and all of a sudden one becomes aware of this intense radiance and vibration. It is as if Truth radiates itself through every material thing. Awe and intense gratitude permanently overwhelms the senses.

External life will always move in ways that are sometimes pleasing and sometimes not. Full and complete Realization ends in the total and deep enjoyment of all things in creation, the sensations of extreme pleasure for no reason overwhelms the senses and perception. I no longer try to find and hold on to external experiences that are oh so fleeting, with the hope that they will make me happy, but instead find deepest satisfaction and pleasure in the realms beyond appearances. The world of matter, as it is, is as well purely divine and one may fully enjoy it to the utmost extreme by living in Reality, Perfection, Truth, the Absolute.