Thursday, April 5, 2007


There is a most astonishing change, a total transformation of everything imaginable, that occurs by the opening of mind that is Self - Realization. This complete transformation of human complications into divine purity is a gradual and spectacular mystical journey that happens over time. During this journey one may observe the changes as they occur and know what is logically to come later. This journey takes one through several stages of both purification and transformation. It is the light or the shakti that performs this astonishing feat. It is a dissolving into light.

In the old days, in mystery schools, students were prepared for Self - Realization by lengthy periods, years, of purifying exercises. Today, as Self - Realization has become much more available to everyone and change happens so much faster and easier, we are lucky to have public teachers that have gone before us. I have obviously seen Realization be given and ably received without any preparation and the transformation and purification happen afterwards. Some people have some experience of purification before Realizing Self but most do not. It is not necessary what so ever to have anything particular in one's background to attain Self - Realization and for the change to occur nothing is necessary other than willingness because it all happens by itself.

After Self - Realization I began to experience a profound inner cleansing. I experienced first a purifying of my mind as, over time, my thoughts and held belief systems slowly began to alter, change or release and I found myself so much more relaxed and accepting of everything. I saw desire and attachment leaving me more and more, not from any effort on my part but simply as a gentle gift. Then I began to experience a complete clearing of my emotional storage. Held emotional reactions to all experiences in my life so far were being released or lifted from my tired systems. And indeed there had been deep suffering. Pain and fear were being removed. Then began a physical restoration; my discomforts and diseases slowly and gently just vanished. After that a spontaneous clearing of my personal life soon began where I saw people and circumstances simply leaving my life, leaving a strange void, the light stripping all things that were wrong or unnecessary from my life.

Immediately after all that, after the period of purification, which took several years, I experienced light direct attention all over again into my mind and this time I experienced a profound transformation, complete change of what mind was. The mind that had been an instrument of thought, creativity, manifestation and will was now transforming into an instrument used solely for observation. Where agony had been reality, the empty mind registers awakened awareness as peace. A similar transformation of my emotional body followed. Where my emotional body had been an instrument of feeling intense reactionary responses through the emotional system from all sorts of unattractive, difficult or pleasant thoughts, Truth was now registering nakedly through the natural and empty emotional body as bliss, sometimes intense and sometimes calm and tranquil. The intense light pushed on to and through the physical body on a molecular and cellular level and began to erase all cell - memory and any cellularly stored goop. All the body's channels, centers and meridians had to open completely for the light to be present to the fullest extent. Light wanted to live in the physical body supremely on an intensely intimate level. (This part was very difficult for me and I had to assist the body with Chinese herbs to prevent chi stagnation and encourage strong flow of energy through all systems.) The body formerly used as transportation mechanism of thought and emotion was now becoming a vessel and vehicle for pure light. The physical body registers truth in matter as ecstasy. Then a change of life and life style began to happen to make also my external life a reflection of all the internal changes, to bring on my real life. During this process tremendous chaos, turmoil, darkness, life style break down, havoc and upheaval surrounded my person and I felt as if I was the only sane person surrounded by possession and serious craziness. As I had allowed the flow of this power to move through all levels of my being I was now forced to allow it to simply move through all areas of my life, while just standing still in the eye of the hurricane. Slowly a graceful, harmonious, balanced, joyful, purposeful, prosperous and loving life reveals itself, a life that makes sense, a life of service, creativity and personal fulfillment begin to build up around oneself. It takes patience and letting go of control. The kundalini affects all areas of life, internal and external, for absolute and total change. By this process, full actualization includes both a spiritual actualization as well as eventually worldly actualization.

This is a journey of personal as well as spiritual growth and transformation. With shakti and grace it happens effortlessly and no discipline is necessary even though silence, solitude, meditation and time spent in nature are helpful once it has begun. Ones life will arrange itself to accommodate the fulfillment of these experiences. As a result of letting go and surrendering ego tendencies one ends up with an clear mind, open and loving heart, patience, acceptance, peace, joy, generosity, gratitude, happiness, ease, relaxation, easy - going and a preference for living in the moment.